The sweetness of knowing my daughter is happy and doing well in her college of choice has been the most important reason for my survival of this first semester of mom abandonment. Can’t imagine how it would be otherwise. Always with God’s help I make it through the “moments” of my life. With a daughter two states away; being able to SKYPE once a week to see her wonderful face sure helps as well. Each night we also TYPE at each other through SKYPE and that keeps me informed about her doings; usually, that brings peace as well. And then there were those quick “huggy” visits where she came home to check out the Western Carolina Band Competition and route for and spend time with friends from her old high school band; then, even better (for me anyway), Thanksgiving Break when we actually had time to sit down and enjoy a few meals, take our evening walks and watch movies together. Christmas break is almost upon us and the long drive back and forth awaits. Pray for us as we brave “The Gorge” and the holiday traffic. My husband and I do well on our own and have even found time to laugh and have fun together but it’s oh so sweet to be able to whisk our baby girl away once again from her well-loved college home.
My husband’s mom is in a rehabilitation center and will probably have to be there for 3 or 4 weeks. It’s been in and out of the hospital for about 2 months now after she developed a fistula after her recent surgery. Never heard of a fistula? We hadn’t either. It’s a hole that leaks one organ into an other (at least that’s how I understood it when they explained it to us) She had tried to come home briefly after weeks in the hospital; but it soon became apparent that she still needed more care. We’re hoping by Christmas she’ll be able to try again.
Aging parents. I guess it’s just that time in our lives right now when we need to be there for our parents. Many of our friends are doing the same thing. Visiting hospitals, taking food to make sure their parents are eating well, and visiting care facilities when it’s just too difficult to keep them safe at home anymore. Independence becomes dependance and I begin to think about our own daughter who may someday have to look after us. Not something we would ever choose for her especially after trying to be there for our parents . . . yet in a way it’s just the way it should be. If I hadn’t been able to be there for my mom for three years before she was moved to a facility that’s now a plane ride away near my brother, I would never had peace about the situation. It took the hardship, the yelling, the tears, the daily challenges of taking her meals and cleaning her home to help me understand and accept she needed more care than I could physically and emotionally give her. Just now getting off the phone with her I know she’s relatively happy and very safe in the care facility where she’s staying now. My brother is close and visits her pretty much every weekend and I get to talk to her when he visits and she’s in a good mood. He doesn’t bother calling me when she’s having a bad day.
Understanding and accepting this change in our lives . . . becoming the caregiver to our parents helps us learn that someday it will be our turn. May God give us the strength and compassion to continue to be good caregivers. May He give those who love us the patience to put up with our trying behavior when we can no longer take care or ourselves.
I’ve been a secretary of a small Baptist Church for 13 years come this December and starting two weeks ago I’m now their cleaning lady as well. Morning – Secretary/ Afternoon – Cleaning Lady. Funny – I’m making much more an hour cleaning toilets then I ever did as Secretary – figures! I spent tons of money (and still paying some of it back) on a college education to make something of myself and I could have just watched my mom clean our bathrooms and been set for life. Actually, I’m just kidding – sort of. It’s hard work keeping a church clean. Especially after allowing 9 college guys to take over our youth area while they worked on projects at another local church . . . then the very next week the craziness of Vacation Bible School . . . talk about royally breaking the new girl in! I’m grateful to the church for the chance to make some extra money and for filling up my afternoons now that my daughter is taking off for college as an incoming Freshman. More about that later . . .
Hello this is my blog. I’m new to this so . . . well we all have to start somewhere I guess. I’m a wife, mother of a daughter who will be starting college this fall, I’m a Baptist church secretary and recently took on 7 hours as a cleaning lady at the same church. I attend a Presbyterian Church but more and more my heart seems to be swaying towards something else altogether – possibly Reformed?? Not sure because there isn’t a Reformed church around my area. On linked in I met a pastor from PA that speaks to my heart when it comes to the Bible. He’s really smart and I’m . . . well . . . not as smart. The reason I started this blog is so I could write down my thoughts and get feed back – kind feed back is welcome – not necessarily agreeing-with-me feed back but kind. You know . . . no cuss words . . . no name calling (unless it’s kind name calling) and no putting me or other readers down. Who knows . . . it may be fun.